Saturday, October 10, 2009
Down in the mouth
Today is one of those days which is sucking all vitality and energy out of me. It is rough . It is depressing. Something just doesn’t feel right. And what’s worse- I am still not able to figure out what exactly is it that has got me into this sullen disposition all of a sudden. I’m in this slump right now, getting out of which somehow seems difficult. I know it's a temporary phase, and I'll be done with it soon, but at this very moment I’ve so many thoughts at the back of my mind- some distressing, some baffling , and yet others which are way too intricate for me to arrive at any conclusion atleast at this moment in time. But who knows when you're asked to act upon your pick ??
Choice is Power and Choice is at the heart of life & yet, it's so perplexing sometimes, because you can't see further than a choice you don't yet understand. Guess, as of now, I just need to give it some time to let the answers float in. And that understanding will still take a lot of thought, a lot of introspection, and so perhaps, a lot of time too. Life’s weird and confusing sometimes. I think it’s just another extended phase of mixed results. Who knows? Am I even making any sense? I dont know and at the moment, I don’t even care.
As of now, all I know is that I’m having this big roller coaster ride of all those thoughts and feelings which don’t seem to leave me at all, not even for a moment. Such bad timing, I tell you!! Sometimes it’s relatively easy to ride through the storm, other times you just feel like your head will explode. Even when you have this urge to explain it to someone- you can’t and you refrain from doing it, because you know that you just have yourself to try and find the truth on your own path, in your own way.
Anyways, I am just waiting for this Thursday [badly, madly & sadly] so that I can finally go back to my hometown and spend some quality time with my family. It's really been a long time...Missing home so very much for the first time in my three months' stay here:(
Posted by Anubha at 7:00 PM