Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Waiting for the morning sun
I am back. Yes, back in time, tonight. Where to & where from? Well, I took the District line and I'm waiting for my tube to take me from Paddington to Bayswater at 1 in the night. This wait which was fun back then isn't really the same today.It makes me apprehensive and is somehow spooky. Back then, the signs you put right there in front of me indicated that I'm on the appropriate , rather much deserved track. Precisely YOU put them in front of me!! I indeed wished you would and you did. I was insecure going alone out there in the open- all on my own, but you told me that I'll be safe because you were asking me to move. Why is it that something which was right back then, is not the same anymore? You ushered me to my destination, then why do I feel that the signs that are there in front of my eyes today, this morning, somehow bespeak that I should not tread this road any further. How will I reach Bayswater then? Or is that I am not meant to go there at all?
What is it? Should I stop? I guess not, but the picture I have in front of me now clearly connotes that what I look forward to may not be propitious and timely either. Atleast not this time. And I, from my past experience know this well, that if it is not the right time for something to happen, it simply won't work, no matter how hard one tries! To everything there is a season and well, this is "Winters", & I somehow find them gloomy. It's just that I don't see the daylight yet and I'm afraid of the dark. Yes, I am.
And, those of you who are wondering what I'm talking about, please don't bother, for I am not here to explain. Not yet. Reason being- I am myself too muddled to provide you with any clarification , hence, it's better you stay off and avoid any unnecessary interrogation .
It very well might be my hyperactive brain that is the cause of such hazy and unsettled thoughts, but then I don't want to mess up again. No way! This time of the year is way better than what I had expected it to be, and hence if things can't be any better, that's perfectly fine with me, but I don't want them to head towards the worse. I can't deal with it so early. And if at all, this ain't my trail, please don't give me signals to hint like it is. You know best and so I trust you once again.
Birds are chirping already, and its dawn (finally), so while it's time for others to start off afresh, it's time for me to hit the bed and get some sleep before this new day brings me the much awaited answers!
& BTW, I wasn't dreaming...
Posted by Anubha at 6:50 AM